YOU ARE FOCUSED ON THE OUTSIDE; that's why you go on missing what is happening inside. You think it is happening because of the master, so you are focused on the master. Then you become attached to the master -- that becomes your slavery.
When something like this happens, CLOSE YOUR EYES AND SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING WITHIN YOU, and soon you will find small clues... how it happens, in what situations. You were silent, you were relaxed, you were not thinking. Your mind was empty, and it came like a flood.
Then try it alone.
It is not happening with any other man, because WITH ANY OTHER MAN YOU ARE NOT SILENT. With any other man, you are constantly quarreling, fighting, nagging.
IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO FIND A WOMAN WHO IS NOT BITCHY, and being bitchy do you think you will have ecstasy? You are bitchy, but the man will be the target. You think that he is the cause -- why did he come late? where has he been?
One day Mulla Nasruddin's wife was crying. As I entered their house, she started crying even more loudly. I said, "What is the matter?"
She said, "Now things have gone beyond control. This man" -- and she pointed towards Mulla Nasruddin, her husband -- "has been having affairs with women. There is no doubt about it, because many times I have found hairs on his coat which are not his hairs -- he is bald. The color is different."
I said, "Have you found any today?"
She said, "Not today -- that's why I am crying, because today I looked minutely and found that there was no hair. It means he has started having affairs with bald women. This is too much, I cannot tolerate this. With women who have hair it is okay, but with women who are bald...."
IT IS YOU WHO ARE FINDING THINGS which can make you joyous, which can make you miserable.
IT WAS NOT HAPPENING WITH THE MAN for a simple reason: first, you were always quarreling, always demanding. And these experiences are not such that they can be produced on demand -- "Bring one ecstasy just now." Nobody can do that -- except Delgado. But for that you will have to go through a small operation. In your skull he will make a small hole and put in an electrode. And he can give you a remote control -- just a small size, you can keep it in your pocket. AND THERE WILL BE NO NEED TO ASK ANYBODY; you can give yourself as many orgasms as you want.
But the danger is the same: what happened to the poor white mouse is going to happen to you, because THE EXPERIENCE IS SO BEAUTIFUL that you will not want to lose a single moment for anything else. Perhaps... the mouse is a small thing, died in one hour; you may take twenty-four hours. But more than that, you should not hope to survive.
Man can survive in misery for seventy-five years. But in ecstasy... seventy-five years in ecstasy? Impossible! Your organism is not made of steel; it will have a breakdown.
I can provide you an atmosphere in which it is easier to move into such spaces. IF YOU ARE INTELLIGENT, you will start looking inside yourself for why these spaces are happening. And you will start on your own, alone, so that you can have those experiences without me.
IF YOU ARE UNINTELLIGENT, then you will start clinging to me -- and that's how so many people in the world are being exploited. If you go to someone and say, "It is because of you, master... you are the lord of my heart..." you are giving that man a chance to exploit you and others.
Out of all the so-called spiritual teachers, masters, prophets, saviors, ninety-nine percent are simply frauds. But you are responsible, you have made them frauds.
I don't want anybody to cling to me, to be attached to me in any way.
MY WHOLE EFFORT IS TO GIVE YOU TOTAL FREEDOM, and methods so that whatever you want, you can create it within yourself. Not even God is needed, nothing is needed -- you are enough unto yourself.
This is the great blessing of existence to every human being. YOU ARE MADE WITH SUCH PERFECTION -- but you never explore it, it remains dormant.
JUST BECOME AN EXPLORER OF YOUR OWN INTERIORITY, of your own subjectivity, and you will find thousands of ecstasies, immense blessings, unimagined, undreamt of.
YOU ARE A PARADISE, but have you forgotten yourself. You are looking everywhere except within you, and that is the only place where you are going to find the treasure, the truth, the beauty.
OSHO
Beyond Enlightenment
Ch #21: The watermelon and the knife
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